THE FACEOFF: ROUND FOUR

I woke up dreading today. I’m not sure why. I should have been feeling ready to put the smack down again, but I just wasn’t. I don’t know if it was because it was kind of overcast and rainy, or if it was because we didn’t have any morning plans to distract my mind. But all morning I had this dreaded feeling. In theory today was supposed to be easier. But what if it wasn’t? What if it was another two hour long battle? What if she had new moves I couldn’t even possibly anticipate? Did I have it in me to keep the fight going? This was a long fight week and I think I needed a break. But I needed to stay focused and push through. If I could get through these first five rounds, I’d be able to adopt this method making my life easier in the future So I dug deep and scrounged up all the energy I could. Eye of the tiger. Eye of the tiger.

This time while I read Ellie her stories I think she was stalling. She kept wanting me to reread the books. I’d finish and say, okay, you ready now? And then she’d point to another book while shaking her head no. She had stalled long enough and I finally said, okay Ellie, it’s naptime now. She laid her head on my chest and started whining. She wasn’t thrilled about a fight either. We were both worn out and wanted it over quick.

I laid her down in the crib and she immediately started crying. Although, it was more of a whimper cry and she stayed lying down too. I sat in the chair and waited. She cried for five minutes and then stopped. Instead of dragging things out she went straight for the cuteness strategy. Grabbing her feet, testing the boundaries of me leaving, but as soon as she got on her knees, I left. And instead of coming back so quickly, I stayed away longer. My finishing move yesterday was seven minutes. I decided that if she was still crying after eight minutes, I’d go back in.

She was so close. Whine, cry, pause. Whine, cry, pause. But after six minutes, the crying escalated and at eight minutes I went back in. I laid her back down again and sat in the chair. She quickly stopped crying and laid there for a bit. Then she went back to cute mode again. Her playbook was running out of new ideas. But I do know she has stamina. I left the room again, this time I planned on leaving for fifteen minutes. She cried for the whole time I was gone. A pretty steady full force cry, too. This wasn’t looking promising.

I went back in, laid her down and sat in the chair  She cried for about two minutes and then fell asleep. I looked at the clock. It had only been a total of thirty minutes since I originally put her in the crib! She was asleep. Wait a minute, SHE WAS ASLEEP! It took me awhile for it to register, it seemed too good to be true. But it was real, she had fallen asleep after only thirty minutes! It’d be really nice if the story ended here, but it doesn’t.

I really didn’t know what to do with myself having this unexpected time to myself. Do I clean? Do I nap? Do I start prepping dinner? Or do I just chill out and sit down? Just as I was starting to settle in, I hear whimpering through the monitor. And then I hear crying. What!? It had only been forty minutes. Could it be poop again!? But she already pooped twice today. Never underestimate Little Miss Poopernickel though. Don’t let her tiny body fool you. I sent out on a fact finding mission to investigate.

I climbed up the stairs trying to be as quiet as possible. When I peered through the door I could see she was still lying on her back, and in between cries she was yawning. My best guess was it was a poop. But changing her diaper could be too risky right now. It could blow the whole operation. But not changing her diaper could do the same thing. If I changed her would I be able to get her back down? Would it even be possible? I had to do it. The earlier part of the fight was too much of a success to not try and salvage. If it had been over an hour maybe I would think otherwise. But forty minutes is not a decent nap. I decided to go for it.

I needed to move fast. I couldn’t fumble on this, there was too much at stake. I opened the door and went like Rambo. Aaaaarrghhhh!!! I picked Ellie up and dashed over to the changing table. Aaaaarrghhhh!!! And then I opened the diaper. Aaaaarrghhhhooooh… sick. It was confirmed, 100% poop indeed. I removed the soiled diaper, cleaned her off, and in mere seconds, I put a clean diaper on. I kept looking over my shoulder like I was going to get caught. With the fresh drawers on, I laid her down in the crib again and sat in the chair. She cried for about five minutes and then she just stared at me. Not a look, she was staring at me. Was she going to fall asleep again? I didn’t want to make eye contact so I closed my eyes. I sat there for just a few minutes but it felt like hours, waiting and wondering if she was going to fall back asleep. When I finally opened my eyes, her’s were closed. I slid out of the chair, crawled out of the room and closed the door. I did it. I pulled off the impossible. SHE FELL BACK TO SLEEP!

Not only did I get her back to sleep, but she slept for another hour and thirty minutes!

BOO YAH!

Now if I could only figure out how to preemptively strike on this whole poop situation for tomorrow.

To continue reading to Round Five, click here.