#1 GRANDMA

My grandma lived within the boundaries of her comfort zone on a diet of coffee, donuts, goulash, and strawberry frosted mini-wheats. She loved politics, tabloid magazines, those tacky novelty toys that light up, dance, and sing songs, card games, scratch-off lottery tickets, Frank Sinatra, the Detroit Tigers, and of course, the MSU Spartans. Her favorite restaurant was Big Boy and the perfect birthday dinner for her was to have KFC take-out at the house with the family. She was never short on something to say, and within two minutes of meeting her, you’d know the names and breeds of her dogs and would be holding pictures of them in your hand. After you heard about her dogs, you’d hear about my brother and I and know what a proud grandmother she was.

She was a daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, gambler, dog lover, worrier, sports fan, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, and great-grandmother. But to me, above all, she was just grandma.

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OPENING DAY

It came a little earlier than last year, but it came. It came just the same. I cut the lawn for the first time of the 2012 cutting season this past Sunday. The weather was a little brisk and breezy, but the sun was shining paving the way for this grand event. The first cut of the season is like my Opening Day. I really do like cutting the grass and was looking forward to this day once my lawn started looking a little shaggy. But this year, it was a bittersweet experience.

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DISCONNECTED

With Aya now in her second trimester, the tone of her pregnancy has started to change. She’s no longer nauseous anymore, and the intense cravings have subsided making cooking and meal planning easier. It’s also nice our pregnancy isn’t a secret anymore and I can openly and freely talk (vent) about things. But I’m finding that the pregnancy this time around has been very different than with Ellie and it’s been difficult to connect with it.

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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: NO SWEETS CHALLENGE IS OVER!

Finally, my No Sweets Challenge has come to an end!

I had intensely relied on sweets as my emotional crutch, best friend, and reward system and it had gotten wildly out of control. So for 77 days, I passed on all things sweet. I had two exceptions; Valentine’s Day, and Fat Tuesday. But other than that, I had nothing sweet to eat of any kind for 77 days. So after successfully completing my mission, I found myself reflecting on what I actually had learned.

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GOIN’ WITH THE FLOW

Ellie’s been changing and learning a lot lately. She’s been a sponge soaking up everything around her. But all these changes have been overwhelming and I find that I’ve been struggling with it for awhile. And by awhile, I mean for the past few months. Everything just seems to be so difficult lately. Brushing her teeth is like going to a rodeo. Well, more like being in a rodeo. I have to chase her down and tie her up with a lasso so I can get the tooth brush in her mouth. And then to get her to change her clothes, I have to distract her like a rodeo clown. Don’t even mention bath time, that’s a whole other story.

Just everything requires so much work and I think I’m a little worn out. But I think the real reason I’m so exhausted isn’t because things are that difficult, but because I’m actually mourning how things used to be.

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